True love never really fades
by behindthatcover
Summary: The pain of his loss for Lily never dulled over the years for Snape. His past always comes back to haunt him, in the form of Lily's son, Harry potter and the phantom of Lily in his mind. Written from Snape's point of view.
1. Chapter 1

This is set in the years following Lily's death and how Snape struggles with his loss every day. Please leave comments on how I can improve :)

I missed Lily. I really did. It had already been so long since she… I could't even bring myself to think that word. Time didn't dull the pain, it just intensified it.

I locked the dungeon door behind me with a flick of my wand and began to look at the essays that I had just collected from my students. Pathetic, I thought, flicking through them. Especially that Potter boy's, still 5 inches short of the required 3 feet. Just like his father, I thought savagely. Lazy and arrogant. Detention would teach him a lesson. I couldn't do anything to his father when we were students at hogwarts, but now I was a professor, and I could do everything in my power to take revenge on James potter in the form of that boy who most unfortunately was the spitting image of my mortal enemy. That was to be expected, I thought bitterly. After all, harry potter was his son, but then again, he could have been mine if not for James stealing Lily away from me. The cold damp darkness of the dungeon wrapped around me as I lazily flicked through the essays, giving that potter boy a "dreadful", of course.

The next morning, I swept into great hall, my dark cloak billowing around me, my face, like the way it had been for the past thirteen years, set in a dark scowl. Students scurried out of my way, their expressions fearful. After all, I was well known for putting students in detention for the most mundane reasons. I knew that they detested me, but what choice did they have? I was a professor, and they had to show me respect, however grudgingly.

Then I spotted the reincarnation of my enemy, the potter boy right in front of me, making his way to the great hall with his friends. Displeasure clouded my features as I recalled his dismal essay and the way his father had embarrassed me in front of the whole school so many years ago. That levicorpus spell, I thought, and my insides shrivelled with hate and embarrassment. "Potter!" I barked, causing him to stiffen and whip his head around at the sound of my voice. "Detention this afternoon, in my office. Your essay, as usual is…dismal. Even worse than the rest of your hopeless classmates," I sneered, relishing the look of outrage on his face. "But sir, I have quidditch practice this afternoon!" he burst out. " Do I look like I care?" I retorted, and continued the walk to my seat. But just before i took my eyes off his face, I saw a glint of anger and resentfulness in those eyes of his, her eyes. He had his mother's eyes. Lily's eyes had always glinted like that too, whenever she was upset with something. My heart gave a painful thump, but somehow, I managed to struggle to keep my face impassive.

It was all my fault she was gone, I thought, pouring pumpkin juice into my goblet absentmindedly. If only I hadn't told Voldemort that prophecy…how would I have known that he would have chosen to kill Lily's son, and not Neville, that inane useless boy in my class, I thought hatefully. What had made him so sure that the boy referred to in the prophecy who would bring his downfall would be Lily's son? No amount of persuasion could change Voldemort's mind, and even Dumbledore hadn't managed to protect her. Why did the Potters have to put their trust in the wrong person?" I wondered, staring off into space. If only they hadn't trusted that piece of vermin, who betrayed their hiding place, I thought.

Next to me, the loud rumbling laughter of that half-giant gamekeeper Hagrid pulled me out of the dark depths of my thoughts with a start. That loud vulgar oaf being give the post of care of magical creatures teacher post…just another example of the bad choices Dumbledore made, I thought and helped myself to a piece of toast.

Dumbledore, he had promised to keep Lily safe, after I had begged him that night. I hadn't begged anyone before, my sense of pride had always reminded me to keep a cold and stony appearance, as though nothing in the world could hurt me. But Lily, she was the exception. I would run through fire to save her, I thought. But this was different, the dark lord was ten times more dangerous than fire, and even Dumbledore couldn't protect her well enough after Voldemort had made up his mind.

That fateful night, I had followed him secretly to Godric's hollow. In my young, desperate mind, I had thought that somehow, maybe, just maybe, I would be able to prevent Lily's murder. But even then, I had known in my heart that if Voldemort wanted to kill her son, she would no doubt protect him to her death, and for someone as cruel and cold as Voldemort, the word "mercy" did not exist in his dictionary. He would kill anyone in his way.

When I had reached Godric's hollow, keeping a safe distance from Voldemort, I saw at once that the once cosy, beautiful house had been destroyed. Glass shards lay everywhere and the lights were out. A horrible eeriness penetrated the darkness. Even before I had put one foot inside the house, I knew it was too late. "Spare my son! Kill me instead!" Lily had begged, her voice, coming from the second floor window, shrill with fright. Oh no, not Lily, not her! I thought, my heart seized up with terror. I ran inside the house, tripping over something. Looking down, I had no idea how to react. I had tripped over the body of Lily's husband, no doubt killed with that horrible Avada Kedavra curse.

I stumbled up the stairs blindly. I had to see Lily, just one last time. I had to tell her I was sorry, sorry beyond what words could express. I had to beg for her forgiveness, even though I knew I was unworthy for it. The floor was covered with bits of wood, and that beautiful jar of crystal flowers I had given Lily for her wedding present lay in smithereens on the floorboards. The house that had been so perfect was now destroyed.

Just as I reached the top stair, I had seen a brilliant flash of green light shooting out of the room where the evil, bone-chilling laugh could be heard. "Oh you silly girl, you could have lived but you decided to give up your life in vain for that son of yours," The cold voice gloated. Lily's scream of terror along with the bright flash of light was forever etched in my mind. My heart felt like it was cracked right down the middle. But Lily was so young, not even twenty-five. And her son…what about her son….I had stood frozen to the spot on the upper stair. It was too late, everything was too late. Lily was…gone.

Another flash of green light accompanied by that terrible two words "Avada kedavra" echoed coldly around the room. I had expected to hear Voldemort's triumphant laughter a second later, but to my surprise, there was only the cry of her son and the almost inhumane shriek of pure agony from Voldemort. What had gone wrong? I wondered. But a moment later, I had finally regained the feeling in my legs and stumbled blindly to the room. Maybe I could revive Lily? Maybe, just maybe. I was good at potions after all. Maybe I could concoct something to bring her back…but it was just the desperate thoughts of a guilty, heartbroken man, for even wizards cannot be brought back from the dead.

I walked numbly through the tiny door where the horrible truth awaited me, dry racking sobs building up from my chest. I had spotted her almost instantly, lying among the debris of her furniture. Strangely, Voldemort was gone and her child was…alive. But I had no eyes for anyone but Lily. She had been so vibrant, so full of life. But now, her eyes lay open with shock. The glimmer of life, which had always been so noticeable in the them had went out. I had never cried before, I was the proud and guarded my heart carefully. Tears had always seemed a sign of weakness to me. But now, I didn't even care. My tears flowed freely down my face, and down Lily's hair, which still had that sweet subtle floral scent as I held her in my arms. How cruel, I thought, that the only chance I would have to hold my beloved in my arms was after the last breath of life had left her. My face twisted in anguish as I allowed myself to wail like a wounded dog. The tears which I had kept supressed within me for my whole life now came pouring out like a waterfall of emotions. Immense guilt at having told the prophecy to Voldemort, anger at whoever betrayed their hiding place, and of course, above all, heartbreak. The love of my life had died married to another man.

"Hey, yer all righ'? Staring off in ter space like that…" a humongous hairy palm was being waved in my face. I recoiled. Of course, it was that beast Hagrid. I glared at him and went back to my toast. And like everything since the day Lily was gone, it was cold, hard and tasteless.


	2. Chapter 2

That afternoon, potter stepped grudgingly into my office, which so happened to be in the dungeon. "You're late," I sneered, delighting at the look of fear that flitted quickly across his face. "Hurry!" I snapped. "We haven't got all day you know. I would like you to scrub the tubeworms off all the desks, without magic, of course." He shot me a look of pure hatred, the way his father had always did so many years ago. But unfortunately for potter, I was his teacher. "Wipe that look off your face. NOW." I snapped, and he, of course had no choice but to obey.

I cast a satisfied look at the reincarnation of my greatest enemy scrubbing and gagging at the worms, and smirked. James, if you had known that I would treat your son like that, would you still have bullied me all those years ago? I thought inwardly. After about an hour or so, the sun was so bright that the sunlight showered the floor in golden rays, and I could see potter gazing at it longingly. Ah, quidditch, of course. "Sir, can I go now? Please?" Potter pleaded. I nodded my head, which surprised us both, but potter swiftly bolted from my dungeon and headed up to the bright, sunlit world above head.

Why had I given in so easily, I wondered. Did I not want to punish potter and make his life a living hell to the best of my ability? After all, he was the perfect opportunity to take revenge on James potter, that miserable father of his. "Ah," but a little voice said in my head, "Is he not Lily's son too?"

I stepped into one of the pools of sunlight on the cold floor of my dungeon and looked into the dazzling brightness. Lily would have loved a day like this. After all, she had loved Quidditch, and the bright sun was a perfect opportunity for a game. We had used to race each other on our broomsticks, round and round the field, until James' jealous face, watching from the sidelines, blurred from view while Lily's excited squeals echoed in my ears. When we got down from our broomsticks, dizzy from the speed, we would steady each other, and even under my robes I could feel the electrifying touch of Lily's hand on my elbow, trying to keep me upright. Sometimes, I thought with a smirk, I would even pretend to stumble more, just so I could feel Lily's touch for an even longer time.

From my first year, I had always dreaded broomsticks, not to mention Qudditch. Just the mere thought of racing sixty miles an hour through the air on a broomstick was frightening enough, and that was before you threw in bludgers, whose sole mission was to knock you off your broomstick. Even now, I shuddered involuntarily just thinking of that. But Lily had always thought that Quidditch was fascinating, asking me to exlplain the rules over and over again, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "Oh, don't be such a baby, it's not scary, it's fun!" Lily had said playfully when I hinted that I was scared of Quidditch.

I had dreaded our first flying lesson at Hogwarts, while Lily was delightfully anticipating it, ticking off boxes on her calendar with a flick of her wand. Every tick of a box meant one day nearer to that dreadful lesson. While my insides twisted more and more with fright with each nearing day, Lily's smile just got brighter and brighter.

The day finally dawned, sunny and cheery, and Lily pelted into the great hall and sat besides me. "Isn't it lucky the Slytherins and Gryffindors have flying lessons together?" she chatted happily. Actually, it was my worst nightmare. I had had no desire to make a fool of myself in front of Lily. "Sev," Lily said, finally quieting down a little, as though finally noticing the pale sickly shade of green my face had turned. "It'll be okay, just trust me." I nodded hesitantly, but what could I do. It was a lesson after all, and I had to attend it.

After breakfast, Lily bounced happily down the steps leading to the quidditch pitch. I barely noticed the string of encouraging words she gave me along the way. I barely even noticed how she was walking right besides me, with the Slytherins shooting her murderous glares. "Now, look at your broomsticks and say, "Up!"" Madam Hooch, the quidditch referee instructed once everyone was lined up properly, with lines of ancient broomsticks on the grass around us. I looked around me and as it turned out, only Lily got her broomstick to fly straight into her hand. Even James had trouble, and his broomstick lay motionless on the grass. At least my broomstick twitched a little...I thought. Madam Hooch gazed around her in disappointment. "Okay, let's try again," she said. I gave Lily a weak smile, and she returned a dazzlingly bright one. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

But by the end of the lesson, only Lily had managed to get on her broomstick without falling off. Mine didn't even fly into my hand. So much for that false hope that maybe flying lessons wouldn't be that bad, I thought desparingly, dragging my feet back into the great hall, thoroughly discouraged. I glanced over at the Gryffindor table. Lily was showered with praises from the Gryffindors, and James was sitting next to her, complimenting her loudly on her flying skills. I felt a twinge of annoyance. My face must have showed it though, for Lily noticed my mood and came over to me, surprising the Gryffindors. "Sev, maybe I could teach you how to fly...or maybe just get on your broomstick..." she started shyly. The prospect of getting back on the quidditch field didn't really appeal to me, and I was almost going to reject the offer when I caught James glaring at me. Suddenly, I had the vision of me superseding James at quidditch, and spending more time with Lily certainly wasn't a bad idea. "Of course!"I agreed enthusiastically. "See you down at the quidditch pitch after dinner!" Lily called as she headed back to the Gryffindor table. My stomach was doing somersaults and I struggled to keep my face expressionless as a grin of elation was creeping onto it. Don't you hate flying? I thought in disbelief to myself.

That night, I bolted down to the quidditch pitch, only to see Lily there already. "So you've finally turned up! I thought that maybe you had chickened out!" she winked at me, and my heart gave another thump that had nothing to do with broomsticks. Wow, Lily only had been on a broom once and she already was so confident, I had thought to myself in amazement. "Accio school brooms!" Lily pointed her wand at the shed where the brooms where kept and two came whizzing out. "You just need to be confident, and don't worry too much..." Lily said brightly. Hmmm...and what happens when you don't have confidence? I thought sarcastically. All the same, I had done as Lily instructed and in no time at all, I was on the broom. "Lily! Lily look! I did it, I'm on!" I let out a whoop of joy. She had giggled. Probably the only time she had seen me so excited, i thought. "That's cos I'm such a brilliant teacher," Lily winked again, and my heart skipped a beat. Really, she needed to stop winking so much, otherwise I was going to have a heart attack, i thought. "I saw a quidditch practice before," Lily had said thoughtfully, almost to herself. "I think i kind of know how to fly..." And right in front of my eyes, the muggle-born who hadn't even been on a broomstick the day before was gliding along on her broomstick, as she had flown all her life. "Well, why don't you try. It's easy, really," Lily said, her cheeks pink with exhilaration. "I...I don't think i can..." I backed away nervously. Getting on a broomstick was one thing, actually flying it was another. "Oh, come on Sev, just try. For me?' she pouted. Lily really did know how to get things her way! Even all these years later, I still smiled at that memory. "Ah...alright then..." I said somewhat reluctantly. "But if I fall off my broomstick and break my legs, it'll be your fault," I said in mock-seriousness. "Oh please, it won't happen," said Lily rolling her eyes. "One, Two, THREE!" Lily shouted and I knew i couldn't back out. "Up!" I shouted to my broomstick and i mounted it, my stomach churning nervously. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lily giving me an encouraging smile. Somehow, that was all I needed. Kicking my legs back just like Lily had done, I suddenly jerked forward. I was so shocked that I almost fell off, but somehow, I gained momentum, and gradually increased my speed. "Oh Sev! You did it!" Lily's triumphant shouts fueled me and I had raced faster and faster, somehow forgetting all fright, which suddenly seemed laughable. All of a sudden, I realized Lily was besides me, on her broomstick. "Bet I can beat you to the goalpost!" She said, and sped ahead, her hair blown back, obscuring my vision for a moment. But somehow, i didn't mind. Not in the slightest bit.

I glanced over at my broomstick in the corner of my dungeon. I hadn't gone near it since Lily was killed. What was the point, I sighed, if she wasn't around to race me anymore?


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, I woke up with a jolt in my stomach. Something wasn't right, but I just couldn't place my finger on it. Dressing in my dull black robes, I made my way to the great hall, mentally preparing myself for yet another day with the despicable Gryffindors and Slytherins, whom even though I didn't really hate, wasn't too fond of.

But even before I had a chance to take my seat at the breakfast table, a bizzare sight greeted me in the corridors. Hogwarts usually had dark corridors, with the exception of pearly white ghosts floating around, but as I gazed around in utter disbelief at my surroundings, I wondered if perhaps Gilderoy Lockhart had returned to Hogwarts, bringing his pink streamers and cupids back with him. Pink streamers were floating along the corridors, with mini red hearts exploding from them. I caught a whiff of, God forbid, the scent of roses. Surely even dementors from Azkaban would be less torturous than these decorations? "Ah, Severus, there you are!" I whipped around, and saw the headmaster walking towards me, wearing pale pink robes. "It's Valentine's day today, I was thinking of creating a lively atmosphere for the students," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles. "I even organised a ball!" he said, motioning over to a large noticeboard where a group of students had gathered, jostling for a better view. But I didn't bother to even take a glance at it. Merry-making was never on the top of my to-do list, and this Valentine's day would undoubtedly be spent in my dungeon, my only company being the slime on the stone walls.

"Severus," the headmaster continued quietly, as though he could read my innermost thoughts, "You should go and have fun at the ball today. Lily wouldn't have wanted you to wallow in sorrow ever since her death. You're still young, life is still ahead of you. Maybe you should let a small part of it go, and learn to be happy again." So that was it. I felt as if a cold hand was squeezing the place where I thought my heart had turned to stone. Lily had invited me to a ball once, a Valentine's day ball, back when we were in our fourth year. I turned away from Dumbledore. He wouldn't understand, he always pretended he did, but he never knew how deep my feelings for Lily ran.

"I. don't. feel. like. eating. today." I enunciated each word clearly and coldly, and keeping my face a blank mask, retraced my footsteps. Heading to my wardrobe, I raised my wand, and said, "Accio coloured robe!" It was the only robe that I owned that wasn't black, but I had only worn it once, back in my fourth year. I stroked the sleeves of the plum-coloured dress robe, which I could never bear to wear a second time. It was only for special occasions, I had reminded myself when I first got it. But how was I to know that that ball was the only occasion ever special enough for me to wear it? The robe seemed to be some kind of time-turner, transporting me back to the time when Lily still loved me.

"So, did you see the notice on the board about the Valentine's day ball?" Lily whispered as we walked to Care of Magical Creatures class together, ignoring the scandalised looks the Gryffindors always threw her when she talked to me. "Hmm?" Gosh, Lily's eyes were so beautiful, and did every girl's breath smell this sweet? I thought to myself, barely hearing her question. "Sev!" Lily snapped, "Pay attention!"

She could really sound like McGonagall if she tried. But instantly, Lily softened, and seeing Potter and the Marauders heading our way, tripped over her words as she said hurriedly, "Doyouwanttogototheballwithme ?" Those words seemed too good to be true, and I merely stared at her blankly. It was a huge mistake on my part, for Lily look horrified at the thought that I had rejected her with my blank stare, and continued, cheeks blushing madly, "It's okay if you don't want to go..." "NO! No, I would really like to go. To go to the ball with you," I finally got myself together and hurriedly stringed together a reply. Finally grasping Lily's words, I had a sudden urge to hug Lily and would have did so if we hadn't reached the location for our lessons. "Let's go shopping for robes at Hogsmeade this weekend!' Lily said as she waved goodbye to me, heading back to the Gryffindors, and giggling slightly at the dazed look of happiness on my face. Potter had seemed to be in an even worse mood than usual that lesson.

That weekend, we had hunted through every shop that sold dress robes in Hogsmeade. I had thought that every robe looked almost identical to the next, but Lily wouldn't have any of that. She dragged me from shop to shop, until everything became a whirl of colours and robes. Lily had me try on dress robe after dress robe, her face aglow with excitement. I had tried protesting, but Lily had always pacified me with an "Oh Sev, just try on one more robe." I wasn't one for shopping, but I was sure Lily would have made even feeding cabbage to flobberworms fun. "This! This is the perfect one!" Lily had announced to practically everyone in the shop, as I tried on what had felt like the hundredth robe. "Shhhh Lily," I tried to hush her, but her excitement couldn't be contained. I glanced down at the plum-coloured robe, and the more Lily praised it, the more I liked it. "I'll take it then," I said, and reached into my moneybag, and handed the galleons to the shopkeeper, walking out of the small shop feeling like the luckiest person in the world.

On the evening of the ball, I checked my reflection anxiously in the floor length mirror at the end of the Slytherin dormitory, smoothing my dress robes. "Ooooh look who's being vain," taunted some of my fellow Slytherins, but I barely noticed them. After all, they were not going to the ball as they were not invited, while I, on the other hand would be going to the ball with the girl of my dreams.

I headed to the Great Hall quickly, which had been turned into a magnificent ballroom. Thinking back, the decoration on that night had been almost identical to what I had seen in the corridors. But instead of revolting me, it had been beautiful to me. I looked hurriedly around for Lily, and when I had finally spotted her among the sea of gowns and dress robes, she looked, if it was actually possible, more beautiful than she had ever did. Lily's hair had been done into an elaborate bun, loose curls falling down her bare shoulders. Her gown was exactly the same shade as my robes, and twirled around her high heeled feet. But what captivated most was Lily's smile. Even after all these years, just thinking of her smiling, and knowing that her smile was meant for me was the sole reason I could produce a patronus even after she was gone. That night, her smile was the most magical and enchanting it had ever been.

"Sev, shall we go get some food?" Lily came over to me with surprising grace, considering her heels. "I'm really hungry!" I had nodded breathlessly. If I hadn't known for sure Lily was muggle-born, I would have suspected that she was part-veela. Lily's eyes widened in amazement at the array of food. The tremendous mounds of food outdid even the start-of-the-year and end-of-the-year feasts. Grabbing a plateful of mashed potatoes and roasted chicken, I followed Lily over to an empty table, right under a crystal-encrusted chandelier.

"You're so handsome..." Lily had said almost dreamily, then immediately clapped her hand over her mouth, her face turning beetroot red. "It just slipped out, sorry," she said, mortified. Oh gosh! No girl had told me I was handsome before. I was dumbfounded, but a deep feeling of pleasure blossomed inside me, building up and spreading across my insides, warming every part of my body. "And you're so beautiful, Lily," I had said, cupping her cheek gently with my palm. Somehow, it all came to me naturally, and without warning. "You know Sev, if I had dragged any boy with me to go shopping like we did that day at Hogsmeade, he would probably hate me. After all, no boy likes shopping. But you're so different Sev, you actually put up with me! The other time I went shopping with my cousin, he refused to another go step after half an hour with me!" Lily giggled at the memory. "Shopping with you was fun," I assured her, and I knew even then that I would do anything for her, let alone with her, and shopping trips suddenly seemed fascinating just because of Lily's bubbly presence.

Around us, more and more couples had trickled onto the dance floor, and the music began to pick up its beat. In no time at all, it was so loud we could barely hear ourselves over the music. "Let's go take a walk around the grounds!" Lily half-shouted, pointing at the entrance. I nodded and we made for the exit as fast as we could.

The grounds of Hogwarts were mercifully a lot quieter and devoid of people. It seemed as though everyone was either in the Great Hall or in their dormitories. We strolled blissfully around the lake. And under the starry sky, it only seemed right to hold Lily's hand. And that was exactly what I did. Lily and I walked quietly in comfortable silence, in the company of the person we each loved most. The silence seemed to hold all the right words, and we didn't need to say anything to understand each other.

"Sev, it's getting kind of chilly," Lily had said, her teeth chattering against each other. Without thinking, I put my arms around her, holding her even closer to me. It had simply seemed like the best thing to do. Then, Lily leaned her head against my shoulder, her forehead brushing my chin ever so slightly. "It's so comfortable here," she murmured, "I don't ever want to leave." And so we stood like that, two figures in the pitch darkness, without a care in the world, and blind to everything except each other, time slipping by silently but oh-so-quickly.

I smiled ruefully now as I thought about it. Placing my plum robes back into the depths of my wardrobe, I slammed the doors shut. That night, hearing the cheerful chatter and laughter echoing from the ball, I hid behind my stony mask, feeling more alone than ever.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day I had the unfortunate task of teaching potions to the Slytherins and Gryffindors. The Slytherins were mostly okay, save a few, who acted like brainless morons. But I always had difficulty facing the Gryffindors. After all, there was Potter, and I did not appreciate being in the same room with the person who was the spitting image of my ex-tormentor, save the green eyes which always reminded me of Lily.

I set the class the task of brewing the draught of living death, a potion which had always seemed so simple to me, but which the class before me treated as if it were as difficult as disapparating without a wand. Neville was as usual sweating feverishly into his cauldron and even the know-it-all Hermione appeared to have some difficulties. I stifled a sigh and rolled my eyes instead. "Potter! Tell me, do you even know how to read? It clearly states in your potions textbook to stir four times in clockwise direction, but you have stirred only three times! Clearly, you have inherited non of your mother's brilliance in potions, only your father's lack of competence in this subject." It was hard to tell who was more stunned. Potter even forgot to defend his father, as he usually did, which more often than not resulted in points taken from Gryffindor. I had never mentioned Lily to anyone, and now I cursed myself mentally over mentioning her, even complimenting her, in her son's presence. No one was supposed to know, not even the slightest hint, of how I felt about Lily.

Before Potter could react, I had already spun around and continued my wandering around the class, taking pleasure in breathing down the neck of Longbottom, taking a satisfaction in seeing him break out in nervous sweat. After all, if he had been the chosen one, Lily Potter would still be alive now.

But somehow even as I paced, I could not shake the vision of Lily from my head no matter how hard I tried. It seemed ages ago when I had last sat in this same classroom, right besides her, secretly happy over Slughorn's teasing about Lily and I being "lovebirds", for we had sat together and had been potions partners since our first year, a Slytherin and Gryffindor. We had been brewing the draught of living death too, that particular lesson when it happened.

"No, you're supposed to add the infusion of wormwood first, before stirring it again," Lily chuckled, 'Wow, what happened to your fantastic potions skills, you're always forgetting ingredients," she teased. I blushed a little. Truth was, I was too engrossed staring at her chopping up the Sophophorus bean that my potion skills were starting to suffer. I had no idea what to say in reply, but since Lily did most of the talking, all I had to do was sit there and nod. It was those potions classes that were my best memories, Lily's presence brightened up everything and made me feel extremely lucky to have her besides me.

I could sense that James Potter behind me was rather upset at Lily and me being in such close proximity, and interacting so cheerfully. It was well known to almost all the students in Hogwarts that he had a huge crush on Lily and the longest sentence that he had managed to get out of her had been, "I wouldn't go out with you if it were a choice between you and the giant squid."

Something told me that there was something not quite right. James and Sirius were usually constantly whispering during potions class, but suddenly they had gone quiet. I had learnt the hard way that James and Sirius quiet behind me usually meant trouble was on the way. Still, it was hard to believe anything bad could happen with Lily besides me, the floral scent of her hair in the air and her voice like music in my ears.

All of sudden, the cauldron tipped towards me, the boiling hot contents all over my robes, the almost finished potion simmering on me. I could hear the sniggering coming from James and Sirius, and suddenly, I was consumed with a mad, angry desire to make them pay for disrupting the otherwise perfect potions class, and for making me look like a fool in front of Lily.


	5. Chapter 5

I had pulled out my wand from my robes and aimed it in James' direction. At that moment, it had seemed worth a detention to curse James in potions class. But James had other ideas. Sensing that I was about to curse him, James reached for his wand, pointed it at me and yelled "levicorpus!" I dodged, just in time, and the spell hit Lily. She rose higher and higher into the air, her face pale with fear. I glanced at James and evidently from the look on his face, the last person he had wanted his spell to hit was Lily.

"Boys, boys, what are you doing?" Slughorn hurried towards us, and upon seeing his favourite student suspended in the air, he let out a cry of shock. "Let her down! At once!" he commanded. Unfortunately for James, he did not know the counter-curse. "Liberacorpus," I murmured, and Lily fell back down on the ground, hitting the table with great force.

"Lily, lily i'm so sorry," James hurried over and attempted to reassure her. I looked up from under my curtain of hair and said in a slow, deadly voice, "What did you think you were doing Potter, and stay away from Lily now, you could have injured her badly." A large part of me was very grateful that the curse had not hit me, but yet a small voice inside me said, "If the curse had hit you, nothing would have happened to Lily." I swore to myself that I would definitely get back at James Potter for making me feel guilty for something that was not even my fault.

"You better bring Lily to the hospital wing, Snape," Slughorn told me curtly. "She looks like she sustained some broken bones from that nasty fall. And Potter, detention in my office Saturday night!" As I heard James' groan of misery behind me, I whispered to Lily, "Can you walk, your leg seems to be in a bad state..." Lily gave a tiny nod, her face paler than usual, and even though it was certainly not a good moment, I somehow still managed to notice how beautiful Lily seemed even after an accident, her pale face a contrast with her fiery hair.

The moment Lily attempted to stand, however, she fell back onto the floor with a cry of pain. "Um, shall I just...carry you there instead?" I offered, as it was pretty obvious that she could not walk. Seeing that she had no other choice, Lily gave another nod, and I gingerly bent down for Lily to climb onto my back. Meanwhile, I could feel anger and jealousy from James radiating towards me, but I strangely I did not care.

"Thank you Sev," murmured Lily, as I carefully made my way out of the classroom. "You're the only Slytherin here that doesn't treat me like dirt." "Don't say it like that Lily," I tried to reassure her, but both of us somehow knew that what she had just said was true.

Making our way to the hospital wing, we passed large hordes of students making their way to the great hall. They gawked at us, but it was the Slytherins who could not keep their poisonous words to themselves. "Snape, carrying a mudblood!" I could hear several Slytherins whisper. "What an insult to the Slytherin house..." I could feel my face burning with embarrassment, but not for myself, but for Lily. She had already been injured by that poor excuse of a person, James, and now she had to endure the cruel and insulting words of the people that I was ashamed to call my fellow Slytherins.

"Don't mind them, they think they're so special, just because they're pureblood, but they're just swines," I comforted Lily. "Shall I curse them for you later in the common room?" I was seriously contemplating that, but Lily, ever so sweet and forgiving chuckled and said," Never mind them, I can put up with the rest of the Slytherins if I have you Sev, you're better than the entire lot of them added together." And she added, in an almost inaudible voice, "Sometimes I really wish you were sorted into Gryffindor, not Slytherin..." My heat ached at her words, for I sometimes wished that too, but I had no idea what to say, so I just sighed in reply.

"You know, Sev, I actually prefer you over my other friends in Gryffindor," Lily confessed. "None of the Gryffindors understand me as well you do. It's like we've been made for each other." My heart gave a pleasurable squirm, and an extremely rare smile lit up my pallid features at her words. "I feel that way for you too," I replied. I wanted to say so much more, to tell her about how I loved her, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to say those words, so I contented myself by walking as slow as possible and savouring the feel of Lily's heartbeat on my back and her hair brushing against my ears.

As I left Lily in the hospital wing reluctantly, she looked straight into my eyes and I had the queerest feeling she was trying to stare into my soul. "Thank you," she said. "For everything."


End file.
